Ramblings on Ryan

I'm not really sure how to start this post.

It could be that it's late and my brain is just really tired. (Although, I do seem to post a lot around 2 A.M.) It could be that I just don't really want to think about it. I don't really know; my mind is all over the place, but I really wanted to write something today.

It's Christmas Eve 2012, and yesterday was Ryan Ahlwardt's final performance as a member of Straight No Chaser.

See, just rereading that previous sentence doesn't really register. I don't think I really understand what that even means. Straight No Chaser without Ryan? I don't think I can picture that.

I haven't really known Straight No Chaser without Ryan. Sure, there's the original ten from IU that started the group in 1996 -- the ten that I saw in 2007, singing on that little YouTube video you might have heard of... "12 Days of Christmas"... But I wasn't really into the group then.

My Straight No Chaser experience really started when I saw them live for the first time. I was lucky enough to have seen them during their very first tour in 2008, when Mike Itkoff and Steve Morgan were still touring with the group. As I've said many times before, I was absolutely mesmerized by the group and the music, and I managed to convince my mom to let me stay for the meet and greet and to buy me a CD to get signed.

I remember randomly wandering around with my mom, trying to figure out what in the world was going on, trying to convince her to let me stay for a little while, all that fun stuff. The guys were milling about, mingling with people that they may or may not have known, and I was just walking around aimlessly. My mom saw Ryan, who was unoccupied for a minute or two, and she practically forced me to take a picture with him, hissing, "Go ask him to take a picture with you!" I, of course, had no idea who this guy was, and I told her so as she was shoving me in his direction.

I'm pretty sure he was really nice to me. I don't remember much about that; I think I was too mortified to commit any of what followed to memory. But that was my first interaction with any member of Straight No Chaser.

I'm telling you, I have so many stories involving Ryan that this post would probably be a million pages long if I actually told as many as I can remember. Each story warrants its own blog post -- that's the kind of stories they are.

As I look back at my Twitter notifications and past Facebook messages, a lot of these memories are flooding back. Let me pull a Tyler and list some of these in bulleted form.

• He was one of my very first Twitter followers (the email is dated 9/29/09).
• Something about cheesecake-producing cows? We had some really great conversations over on the old SNCmusic.com with Dave, Kathy, S., and others. That was fun. Remember the bribery with cookies and steaks?
• After jokingly asking if it would be okay for my high school choir to sing for the group (back in '09), I get a DM telling me to get in touch with Richard Korby. Totally wasn't expecting that. I got a thrill when he remembered my name and was actually introducing me to the other guys at soundcheck.
• He helped calm me down about calculus tests I was freaking out about. Multiple times. Philippians 4:6 -7.
• The first FanChat fiasco, when the interview didn't record. Oy, that was something.
• Monopoly tips from Ted Leafwater: Scottie Dog and the thimble are bad luck, but the cotton gin and the car are "good harbingers."
• The meaningless point system isn't so meaningless. It's fun to earn meaningless points.
• He totally should've called me out of school when they were in Anaheim in 2010. I'd have given them the insider's tour of Disneyland. So instead, I sent a novel-length Facebook message with tons of tips because, you know, I'm a Disnerd like that. (If you're reading this, Ryan, hit me up if/when I get hired by Disney. Free sign-ins, what?!)
• Oh, he told me I should work for Disney. So, you know, I'm applying for internships and am getting offers. NBD.
• He has congratulated me for getting into USC, for graduating high school, and for getting into Overflow, three of my proudest moments in the past few years.
• All-Access passes in Anaheim, 2010.
• "Your last name looks like what I'd abbreviate on the binding of my literature book in high school, for easy locker navigation. Nice work, despite you having nothing to do with it."
• Helping Chasers out with Dan's scrapbook.
• "Just One Kiss" and "Rock and Roll Summertime" are still on my iPod.
• Thanks for letting me know you're at Disney World. As much as I'm a Disneyphile, I've still never been...
• Yes, I got my license a little late (after graduating high school), but let's be fair -- this is LA. Learning how to drive in LA is a lot different from learning how to drive in someplace like Indy. In my defense.
• I don't feel like giving Macs a shot. #antiApple
• "People without souls dislike The Rustman." #TRUTH
• When Tyler and Charlie finally got Twitter accounts. That DM made my day!
• BABY MONKEY, the annoyance of my life for MONTHS.

Ryan hasn't only been a member of Straight No Chaser in my eyes. He's been truly inspirational. He's probably the first person through whom I could really see Christ's love shining through, engaging with me not only as a fan of SNC, but also as a wonderful role model for me, as a teen in high school, in character and faith. 

And this is why I know he'll do amazing things with those high schoolers in Fishers. If this is the kind of effect he has had on me and in my spiritual and character development (and mostly online, through social media), those teens are going to move mountains, they will come to know the love of Christ, and they will change the world.

Maybe this is why it's been easy to accept that he won't be a part of SNC anymore. Maybe it isn't that my brain isn't registering it (whoa, double negative, sorry there!), but that my heart is so accepting of it.

Or maybe I'm just rambling, like I always do whenever I post something on here.

In any case, I am glad that God placed you in my life at the time that He did, Ryan. I wish you only the best of luck as you continue on with what He has called you to do, and I know that He will work miracles through you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything you have given to the SNC family, and to me. 

-insert cheesy song here, perhaps "For Good" from Wicked-